


Buried deep down inside.

by littlelooneyluna



Category: Emmerdale, robron
Genre: M/M, Reflection, affair!robron, links to past, set on the 16th April 2015
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-09-10
Updated: 2016-09-10
Packaged: 2018-08-14 02:59:33
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,022
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/7996084
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/littlelooneyluna/pseuds/littlelooneyluna
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>"They all think I'm some sort of monster, that I'm dangerous or summat." Aaron whispered, looking down at his hand and feeling himself shake a little.</p><p>- Set on the 16th April 2015, a few hours after Aaron bottled James (basically the scene we were all damn entitled to that day and never received)</p>
            </blockquote>





	Buried deep down inside.

**Author's Note:**

> So you may or may not know that I have a whole robron!affair soppy moments fic thingy going on, this could have slotted in but to be honest I wrote this ages ago and idk why it felt easier to upload it on its own. It's set a few hours after Aaron bottled James and I remember watching it back really wanting Robert to come and see if he was okay, so this happened.

Aaron couldn't stop thinking about the way people looked at him after James left the pub, utter shock was what he first was met with by the locals. Eyes wide and mouths open in complete and utter _shock_ , witnessing such a thuggish action from the local scrapper had stunned them into silence. Aaron couldn't help but feel like some sort of wild animal that had just let loose and attacked, there was a distinct look of _fear_ about them all, as if the were wary about what this violent man would do next.

That hurt, _killed_ all over because Aaron had built up this reputation of himself for years. He was the chavvy volatile mechanic and then he was the chavvy volatile _gay_ mechanic and then he was the tragic poor gay young man, still volatile, just a little bit more messed up. Since being back from France though, Aaron had changed. People around him didn't seem to give him _that_ look, the look that said they were that little bit wary of him and it made him happy knowing no one was _scared_ of him or what he was capable of. That image had been stamped on though, it took _seconds_ and it was like he was seventeen again, punching walls and seeing red and getting _that_ look. It burned all over, faces looking away from him quickly when he met their eye - _scared_ or at least a little on edge.

  
Aaron shifted on the bench outside the pub that he was sitting on, shards of glass had cut into his fist and for a second Aaron thought about doing something. He was remembering what hurt the most as he left the pub, seeing how unfazed others looked, how they almost predicted the behaviour because at the end of the day it was still Aaron. Still the same boy who punched someone because they for too close, after all a leopard dosen't change their spots.

  
Aaron picked up a shard of glass, so small it nearly disappeared from his view and then suddenly he was shaking his head and sighing, flickering the shard away and shaking his hands, watching them all fall and feeling better for it.

  
Aaron shifted his weight on the seat, he was half expecting Ross to come and have a go but he didn't care, if anything he wanted it to happen. He was in the mood for a fight, obviously.

  
He knew why too, Robert. Aaron couldn't stop thinking about how _different_ the night could have gone if Robert _had_ whisked him away to some place nice and fancy, just them two after days of nothing but five minutes to spare. It was supposed to be the night Robert treated him, took him out and made him feel _loved_ , this wasn't supposed to be the turn out.

  
Aaron heard the pub quieten down and suddenly tried to get up from the bench and reach for his clutches, they were resting nearby but not near enough and Aaron couldn't deny how much of a struggle it was becoming as he continued to lean over.

  
Suddenly a pair of hands gripped hold of them and passed them tentatively to Aaron. Aaron looked up, knowing who it was already and wanting to not engage in a conversation at all.

  
"Here you go." Robert whispered, passing over the crutches and then feeling them being ripped out of his hands aggressively. "Oft still got a bit of anger left in ya then." He wanted to hit himself for even making a joke out of what had happened, why did he think it was funny?

  
He didn't think it was then, not when he saw Aaron smash a bottle over James' head and then looked horrified at his own actions for that split second where everyone was too bothered fussing over James to notice. Robert couldn't take his eyes off him though, he had been watching when no one else was and he _knew_ how awful Aaron felt instantly.

  
Aaron stared up at Robert harshly, "What, you think it's funny?" He barked before looking back down again because he couldn't hide how embarrassed he felt about the fact that of course Robert had been there to see him completely _flip_ out.

Robert - who had seen him at his worst, time and time and time again. No wonder he was loosing interest so quickly.

  
Robert's eyes widened in shock, "No... _no_ I don't think it's funny." He whispered softly, daring to sit next to Aaron and relaxing his shoulders as Aaron didn't move away.

  
Aaron scoffed hard, "Do one Robert." He snapped before turning towards Robert, "Haven't you got a wife to entertain like a good little boy?" He knew that would hurt, it was meant to but Robert didn't seem to be budging, he tensed his jaw and sighed and that was it. No comeback, no harsh words.

  
"I'm sorry." Aaron didn't expect that, not in the slightest.

  
Robert shook his head and sighed, he knew he would have to repeat his words. "I'm sorry I let ya down tonight, I feel awful Aaron."

  
Aaron bit down hard on his lip and shrugged his shoulders, "Well I wouldn't have got the pleasure of bottling James if I was ripping your clothes off right..." He was almost emotionless as he spoke, unfazed by his words entirely and Robert couldn't help but frown at Aaron.

  
Robert's jaw tensed again. He knew Aaron didn't mean that, not in the slightest. "Stop lying, you didn't want that to happen Aaron." He pushed out seriously, leaning a little towards Aaron and then looking at the scrapes on his hand.

  
Aaron's eyes began to water, thinking about how badly that was true and hating Robert for knowing him so well. "How do you know that then oh wise one?" Aaron said quickly, turning towards Robert and feeling vulnerable because he knew the older man could see the tears in his eyes.

  
Robert didn't even need that long to think. "'Cos I know what kind of person you are Aaron."

  
Aaron raised an eyebrow and tried to stop tears from falling down his face, it was pointless. "Yeah?" He whispered, head down to stop Robert seeing, "Weak? Vulnerable? You saying I wouldn't be able to do that to someone and actually not _want_ to, that I'd cry and run away rather than defend myself?" It hurt to think that Robert saw him as someone who was weak, it made more tears fall messily and blur his eyes a little.

  
Robert looked towards Aaron and felt his heart breaking for him, he had this urge to hold him and he did, it was in the afternoon and anyone could see them if they turned the corner but it didn't matter suddenly because he needed to comfort Aaron.

  
"You're not _weak_ Aaron, you're moral, kind, honest and... _good_. Yeah you lash out sometimes..." Robert was thinking back to the lay by moment, the punch Aaron threw that he _deserved_ to get. "But you have the ability to feel _guilty_ , not everyone's like that Aaron. Not everyone feels _bad_ after doing something wrong, that's what makes you a decent lad. A _good_ person."

  
Aaron was stunned by the words, he needed to hear them but a part of him still felt like he didn't deserve it at all, not after what he had done and how everyone looked at him.

  
Robert moved an arm up to reach Aaron shoulder and pulled him closer, "What you did dosen't define you, you know that." Robert added softly.

  
Aaron shook his head against Robert, a stubborn part of him wanting to tell Robert to leave him alone but _needing_ him so much he couldn't bare to let go.

  
"They all think I'm some sort of monster, that I'm _dangerous_  or summat." Aaron whispered, looking down at his hand and feeling himself shake a little.

  
Robert tensed at the words, he had spent the journey home with Chrissie discussing how 'thuggish' Aaron's behaviour was, he had to bite his lip too many times as he heard his wife go on about how 'scared' it had made her for a few seconds. Robert at one point had rolled his eyes and looked out the window, he couldn't care less about what Chrissie thought when it came to Aaron's actions but he couldn't _defend_ him the way he really wanted to.

  
"You don't know the full story Chrissie." Had been muttered many times, not being registered by his wife even once.

  
Robert sighed against Aaron, "No they don't." He tried, before feeling Aaron shake his head.

  
"Who goes around bottling people? They all think I'm mad just 'cos I can't control myself - I don't want anyone to be scared of me." Aaron whispered out, rubbing at his eyes that had blurred again and feeling awful about who the night had panned out for him.

  
Robert kissed the top of Aaron's head, "No ones scared of you Aaron, you're not some _monster_." He didn't understand how anyone could view Aaron like that really, not when they knew him, really _knew_ him, he was so soft and kind and beautifully tender at times but this world, and the people in it seemed to make Aaron angry sometimes, loose his temper and explode. It was natural and Robert refused to believe it took away from the sort of person Aaron was deep down.

  
"You're the kindest man I have ever met Aaron, yeah you loose your temper sometimes..." Robert shifted a little and rubbed at Aaron's arm, "You act out and I get that - it dosen't define you though, it dosen't lessen how _amazing_ you are Aaron."

  
Aaron looked up at Robert, shocked by his words _again_ and then at how readily he was believing it all. He was listening to Robert and taking it all in, feeling better and having this tension ease away from him.

  
"Do you actually mean that or do you just feel bad about standing me up?" Aaron questioned, not being able to get past the thought that was circling his mind.

  
Robert frowned, lifting up Aaron's weight a little and holding him by the arms, forcing Aaron to look his way. "Aaron. I mean it. You are kind, and gentle and _that_ ," Robert looked down at Aaron's hand, "It dosen't define you, because you didn't mean for it to happen, I know you didn't and so do you."

  
Aaron nodded his head slowly, of course he wanted James to pay for hurting his mum but what he did was so far removed from the man he wanted to be now it hurt all over. "No I - I didn't." He admitted to Robert, laying himself bare just like all the other times.

  
Aaron looked up at Robert and saw him smiling, as if he didn't look at him any differently after what had happened, it was beyond comforting.

  
"So you don't, you don't see me any differently now - you're not, not scared of me?" Aaron whispered out, thinking about how the punches at the lay by and the damage he had done could have been seen as a one off violent outburst, not anymore.

  
Robert sighed a little and shook his head, pulling Aaron closer to him and kissing him chastely on the lips because anyone could be near by and he knew if he pressed into Aaron any harder he wouldn't be able to stop himself. "No." He said simply, smiling as he saw Aaron blow out a sigh of relief and smile.

  
"Thanks." Aaron whispered, relaxing against Robert again and not wanting to move.

  
Robert kissed Aaron's head again and smiled, he couldn't describe how good it felt knowing that he had made Aaron feel better, he had stopped the tears instead of caused them. "Besides...how could I be scared of my little spoon eh?" He teased after a few minutes of quiet, feeling Aaron laugh against him and then elbow his ribs delicately, Robert playfully pretended it hurt and suddenly Aaron was lifting himself up and promising to kiss it better soon.

 

**Author's Note:**

> I hope you liked it lol...it's a little bit rusty but I just had to write it after watching the episode again, ahhh affair!robron is just the damn greatest thing <3


End file.
